Kryptone

Kryptone was never born… his IKEA flat-pack fell off the back of a tractor and was discovered by the members of ABBA in an abandoned ice-hockey rink. The band adopted him and raised him as the 5th member, until they realised he was stealing all their drugs at which point (circa 1985) they sold him to George Michael, who had more than enough drugs to go around. Then, in 1987 after losing Faith in George’s musical direction, he took a vow of silence and hitch-hiked his way back to Sweden. There he joined a hippy polar bear family and lived on rainbow trout and Amanita Muscaria until his winter home inside a hollowed-out tree trunk was discovered accidentally by Sir David Attenborough. Sir David gave him a cracked copy of Logic and some killa kick drums and taught him the ways of Psy-Trance production.